The Perfect Murder: For Dummies

I am sure all the crazies that are reading this must think that I am out of my mind, but rest assured, according to my psychiatrist, I am no...

While The Perfect Murder for Dummies is wholeheartedly in support of killing people, we must clarify that we mean adults who have already su...

We at TPMFD would like to take this moment to discuss the politics of killing and the killing of politicians.  We have been swamped with e...

Here folks is the latest game from TPMFD Enterprise: Deathmatch: The Historical Board Game. Have you ever wondered whether Jane Austen cou...

I had been hoping Penn State would receive the death penalty--I mean really, a school that coddles a pervert and gives him emeritus status! ...

Ooops, I think I wrote the title wrong, I MEANT, Kill Putin: the Pussy Riot Edition. (Please Mr. Putin, don't throw me in jail for two ...

Even though Paterno is dead, his zombies continue to roam Pennsylvania mindlessly, spewing the notion that the once-sainted coach is innocen...

Happy 4th of July!  Celebrate you independence by blowing something or someone up. Today's game takes us back to the founding fathers ...

As my 30th High School reunion approaches, I was struck by a strange thought--why are there not more high school reunion massacres? I have...

Are there no self-respecting men (or women) in the Penn State area with rifles, handguns, or sticks?  This guy has been free on bail and sti...

I apologize for the long hiatus.  Parker Bros has been keeping me busy trying to get some of these games to market, but for some stupid reas...

Okay, it's Easter and Xians are all claiming Jesus is no longer dead.  Then what was the fuckin' point of the Romans killing him?  T...

Now that spring is in the air--although they are predicting an inch of snow tonight,  so it might be a good time to stay in and play this ne...

Recent events suggest that folks in Florida have become confused concerning the rules for Whom Would You Kill? Killing young, black, unarm...

There's something about staring out the window and watching bees polinate my peach tree that makes my mind wander to killing.  Now tha...

I am still stunned at how often religious wackos read this site, but a number of fundamentalists have asked the following question: does kil...

Congratulations to all you poor souls in Russia.  It appears Mr. Putin has arranged to have himself elected emperor once again, and some of ...

The unbelievable popularity of the PMFD Board Games has led me to create yet another: Aren't They Dead Yet? Have you ever been at a co...

A number of readers have complained that killing is getting to easy.  Walk down to the local pawn shop or gun show, toss down $50, step outs...

Please, don't stop reading.  I am NOT advocating peace and love.  Quite the contrary.  I am asking, who is so worthless that you'd n...

Given the immense popularity of TPMFD's first board game, "Who Would You Kill?: The Historical Edition," I have decided to rel...

Football is so boring.  And since many of you would-be assassins reside outside the United States, consider these comments equally applicabl...

Why, you are asking, do I not love the National Rifle Association? Well, now that you ask... First, this is the Perfect Murder for Dummi...

Having tried my hand once at retail sales--I sold Classical Music CDs in Houston--way back when CDs had just hit the market, I can tell you ...

I hate people, but I hate happy people even more. Face it, if your life is soooo good that you have to smile, then have the common decency...

As an ardent politico, I find great pleasure in the political process, but as an intellectual elitist, I am repulsed by the brain-dead Repub...

A few of you seem to have trouble interacting with people, and have asked me for relationship advice.  Ironically, I too have problems meeti...

It is a sad day indeed when the news reports that murder has dropped out of the top 15 causes of death in the United States for the first ti...

I agree with a member that sometimes, it's just too damn cold to go out and kill.  Face it, staying at home with the heat cranked up, or...

Some of you, and I adhere to a vow of confidentiality with my acolytes, did not read the entirity of the previous blog entry and thought I w...

Ahh, there's nothing like overcrowded airports, airplanes, and shopping malls to bring out the urge to kill. Let's ponder the oppor...

After my posts about killing one's sexual abuser, it appears that most readers assumed this only applied to Boy Scout Leaders and Cathol...

Since I have been informed that we are now involved in a class war, I figFaceure that killing is now justified and legal. Remember all the ...

Turns out a boy scout trying to earn his mime badge got the drop on me.  I've been in a coma for most of the past year.  Thanks for aski...

NOTE: The Boy Scouts do not approve of this site, probably because the ones doing the disapproving are all the leaders, not the scouts thems...

I must admit, these long spells between posts provide me such pleasure, because those poor saps who think god has finally listened to them a...

Most murderers plan the details of their kills. The perfect weapon, the alibi, how to dispose of the evidence, and other such factors, but t...

There’s nothing like silence to make Christians believe that God is alive and active in the world. Counterintuitive, to say the least. You’d...

Before I get to today’s post, I’d like to comment on the vast amounts of correspondence that I’ve received on killing mimes. It turns out ev...

For those of you who were concerned that my radio silence indicated that one of the millions of readers whom I have offended may have killed...

Why is it when someone tells you to "knock 'em dead," they get so upset when you do it? Anyway, back to the post for today....

I feel so let down. When I was first introduced to Heavy Metal’s most promising sect, Death Metal, I could feel that long dormant child in m...

Since Charlton Heston died, the National Rifle Association has not been able to find a leader with the same charisma, dedication, and star p...

Do any of you still have any Washington Bullets memorabilia? Now there was a basketball team a city could get behind. Do you know how many y...

Some of you might think this is funny, but research shows that at least 18.3% of men experience an erection when they put a handgun down the...

In Texas, when juries are instructed, they are not given the choice of “Not Guilty.” It’s why the Pardons Review Board doesn’t care if your ...

A number of my readers remarked with a bit of sarcasm, “Boo hoo, you rich folks with too many jobs—why don’t you share a few of them with us...

I know that many of you have full time jobs, work multiple jobs, and/or have families that prevent you the luxury of free time in order to k...

As an addendum to the previous post, I had a rather compelling idea: why not remake Dr Strangelove, but not as a dark comedy, not as a satir...

If you have read this blog closely, you might have intuited that I am not the Tea Party’s biggest fan. You might have even reached the concl...

Shakespeare thinks murder is classic, but finds this site sophomoric. And he thinks Stoppard is a hack. And he swears he was the true author...

(Disney disavows all connection with this site) Between the hate mail I receive from nuns for proposing killing Mother Teresa and the tale...

Okay, so there is no board, but it is historical and just as fun. I know, everyone says they’d go back and kill Adolph Hitler or John Wilk...

I get this question at cocktail parties a lot, why murder? Why not arson or burglary or forgery or parking in a disabled spot? For me, it ...

A minister from Springfield, Missouri wrote to tell me that I had better stop blaspheming the Godhead because God was reading my blog and wo...

Based on the number of emails I’ve received detailing people’s kills, I clearly did not make my point clear in the first SHUT THE FUCK UP DU...

I’ve been thinking a lot about this Preacher, Terry Jones, in Gainesville, Florida who wants to burn copies of the Koran. Good for him—I thi...

Before you set out on your first kill, you need to decide what kind of killer do you wish to be. Among the many possibilities are the Artist...