NEW TARGET: HAPPY PEOPLE

I hate people, but I hate happy people even more.

Face it, if your life is soooo good that you have to smile, then have the common decency to keep it to yourself.

I think it's only fair that if you walk around my planet, sucking up my oxygen, you should have enough respect to at least appear as miserable as I am.  (And no, my life would not be better with Jesus in my heart.)

So the next time I see some happy-assed ignoramus, s/he he'd better make sure it's worth dying for.

Turn that smile upside down and join the rest of us, or join Jesus. Your choice.

GINGRICH ANYONE?

As an ardent politico, I find great pleasure in the political process, but as an intellectual elitist, I am repulsed by the brain-dead Republican masses.

Palin?  Trump?  Bachmann?  Cain?  Perry?  Santorum?  Gingrich?  How disastrous does a pack have to be to make Ron Paul look sane?  Poor Romney (now that's an oxymoron if every I wrote one). 

Does the American public have a moral responsibility to step in when democracy fails?  While I cannot advocate political assassination (although advocating killing anyone else does not seem to bother Big Brother), I would encourage you to find where these imbeciles live and double park next to them, or park in front of their driveways, or kill their chauffeurs.  Don't let either the idiotic candidates or their moronic minions out until after the election.  Can we really tolerate any of them as President? 

Fight the Power, especially if it is stupid, sanctimonious, and named NEWT.

MIXER WITH THE HEMLOCK SOCIETY?

A few of you seem to have trouble interacting with people, and have asked me for relationship advice.  Ironically, I too have problems meeting people--it's why I started this blog AND why I tend to kill so much.

But, a friend of mine over at the Hemlock Society thought our two groups might hit it off well.  I am not sure what the Hemlock Society does--I think it's a botanical group--but it would provide many of you a chance to meet people.

Our first mixer will be planned for Mid-March in Portland, Oregon, so please clear you schedules.  It should be a blast, so start saving up.

More details as they become available.

TPMFD

MURDER IS DROPPING IN THE UNITED STATES

It is a sad day indeed when the news reports that murder has dropped out of the top 15 causes of death in the United States for the first time since 1955.

What has happened to American Exceptionality under Obama?  We used to be able to claim #1 status, but we have outsourced our Drug Wars to Mexico.  Murder in Mexico is flourishing: we fund their drug wars, ship them guns; WHERE IS THE OUTRAGE.  Just think how good it would be for out of work Americans to be able to get up each morning and go out and kill someone.  The unemployment rate would drop, population would be kept in check, and we could once more shout "We're Number One!" 

So the next time you feel the need to go out and buy cocaine, heroin, or even pot, ask your local drug dealer if your drugs are "Made in America" or supported by American drug cartels. 

There's no good reason why we have to let cancer and heart disease kill us off--if only more people supported good old fashioned murder, we could greatly reduce the number of people killed by cancer and heart disease.

We can do it, because we're Americans: We're Number One!

TOO COLD TO KILL?

I agree with a member that sometimes, it's just too damn cold to go out and kill.  Face it, staying at home with the heat cranked up, or a nice fire going, sure beats freezing one's ass off, especially if the kill is a slow, methodical job. 

Currently, it's 18 degrees, and looks like snow.  It would take a rather special kill to get me away from my opera, Berlioz' Les troyens, and I can't think of anyone that's worth that much effort right now.

However, what I find is that days like this make for good planning periods.  I can create lists and rank people I'd like to eliminate, I can create role-playing scenarios that might spice up a kill, or I can plan a warmer climate vacation during which I can take out a few poor saps (by poor, of course, I mean RICH--see previous posts).

For those brave souls for whom freezing weather is not a problem, you might consider that a snow storm provides excellent cover: it masks evidence, muffles noise, and slows down any potential pursuit (the cops are also less likely to want to go out in a snowstorm as well).  The adventurous murderer can execute a perfect murder, so long as s/he does not lock him-/herself out and freeze to death.  NOTE: I've always thought it would be fun to go on a murder spree costumed as a Yeti, but my hatred of the cold has prevented me from carrying this out; if any of you wish to try the Yeti-kill, please do and post your experience for those who choose to remain housebound and warm.

Happy Hunting,
TPMFD

KILLING SANTA-STYLE: AN APOLOGY

Some of you, and I adhere to a vow of confidentiality with my acolytes, did not read the entirity of the previous blog entry and thought I was advocating using chimneys as access points for their killing sprees.

Well, as you might imagine, a number of burnt asses, confused children, and stuck novices has forced me to issue a clarification.

DO NOT TRY GOING DOWN CHIMNEYS!