THE POLITICS OF KILLING: EDITORIAL

We at TPMFD would like to take this moment to discuss the politics of killing and the killing of politicians. 

We have been swamped with e-mails asking for advice: whom should we kill, Republicans, Democrats, Libertarians, or the undecided, and would it really make a difference?  And, should we kill the politicians or their supporters or both?  Great questions.

First, the Who: Personally, I would kill the undecided.  If someone cannot make up his or her mind after all this evidence about what the candidates are willing to say to get elected, that person must be brain dead, so any killing would be a mercy killing, putting that person out of his or her misery. 

The next group I'd kill are Libertarians.  Killing a Libertarian would be ironic since all you would have to do is claim that you were exercising your constitutional rights or freedoms as an individual to kill.

Then I'd kill the conservative elements within the Republican party, which these days seems to be just about all of them.  I mean it, how insane can a group get--legitimate rape and divinely planned pregnancies, a rejection of the science, and incessant anti-gay, anti-minority, anti-poor, and anti-women vitrole.  I think whoever shuts them up would be in the running for the next Nobel Peace Prize.

And just for balance, I'd say kill a bunch of Democrats too, since even though they might be voting for the better candidate, half of them seem just as stupid.

And what about the politicians?  Well, if you kill all their supporters, then they have nothing to do and no one to suck up to.  But as a matter of principle, I'd say that if we have to hear their constant pandering on TV, radio, the internet, they deserve a painful death.  Possibly a dull, rusty razor.  Or a painful disease. 

Essentially, I would say to all my loyal followers, VOTE with a bullet.  Your paper ballot will inevitably get lost in the massive fraud that is the electoral college, so make a difference this election day.  Make your voice heard.