There’s nothing like silence to make Christians believe that God is alive and active in the world. Counterintuitive, to say the least. You’d be amazed how many emails I’ve received congratulating me on my entrance into Hell. Like Hell would have Internet access.
No, I am still alive, although I have been in hiding since I believe that I am being stalked by god (I have no idea which one it is—they all look the same to me) and a gaggle of mimes (it turns out that they’ve learned how to get out of the box, but they appear to only be armed with imaginary weapons, so unless they drive me to suicide, I should be okay).
People are just too easily offended. Can't we all just get along. (Rodney King does not approve of this site, but the LAPD seems quite supportive.)
Dammit! This is the last straw. I'm giving up on God and am going to devote my remaining years to leading a mime revolt, WITH REAL GUNS!! And there not going to paint their faces white with fuckin' tears on them. No, my mimes are going to be badass and we're going to take over the country! Ninjas don't talk, do they? We'll be like ninja mimes.
ReplyDeleteViva la revolucion!
The ex-Reverend C. H.