KILLING FUNDAMENTALIST CHRISTIANS IS WIN-WIN

I’ve been thinking a lot about this Preacher, Terry Jones, in Gainesville, Florida who wants to burn copies of the Koran. Good for him—I think he should toss in some New Testaments too since he seems to have discarded the Jesus is love crap. I think the whole world would be better if we all believed in vengeful gods again—all this peace shit has only led to bigger, deadlier wars. If the gods only killed more humans, there would not be problems of famine, global warming, overpopulation, illegal immigration, or hope.

On a side note, there is something else one might learn from this: Jones gets a thought in his head and he convinces his feeble-minded sheep that book burning, which will lead to killing, is a good idea—if we could simply convince the feeble-minded sheep not to burn books (which The Perfect Murder does not support) and skip straight to the killing half of the equation (which The Perfect Murder wholeheartedly supports), then everyone would be happy (except maybe Terry Jones).

But book burning aside, since Fundamentalists hate life on earth so much and are trying so desperately to destroy the planet and bring about the glorious return of Christ, why don’t we just put them out of their misery.

Think about it; they hate living and love Christ—why don’t we who love killing and hate Fundamentalists just kill them off. They are happy with Jesus and we are happy without them. Win-win.

And for those of you who might have hesitations about this, don’t worry, God wants you to kill fundamentalists—it’s in the Bible!!

I John 2: 15-16 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

John 17: 16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.

Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world

Face it, the world is Satan’s, otherwise why would he bother tempting Christ with “all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them” (Matthew 4: 9) unless they were his to offer—and note, Christ does not say they are not his, he simply says, “Get thee hence, Satan” (4: 10).  Any Fundamentalist who says that s/he does not want to be killed must love the world and thus be of Satan.  SEE IT'S IN THE BIBLE.


And it’s not just God who wants you to kill Fundamentalists, it’s the Fundamentalists themselves. Remember how easy it was for Jim Jones to get more than 900 to kill themselves? They were just a few verses removed from these folks in Florida, who themselves are just a few verses removed from most other Fundies. Killing them just makes it so they don’t have to commit suicide, which they still think is a sin. Like I said, Win-Win.

Other Fundamentalist Groups for whom this Theory may apply:

1. Fundamentalist Atheists

2. Fundamentalist Buddhists

3. Fundamentalist Catholics

4. Fundamentalist Darwinians

5. Fundamentalist Epicureans

6. Fundamentalist Freudians

7. Fundamentalist Greek Mythologists

8. Fundamentalist Hindus

9. Fundamentalist Islamists

10. Fundamentalist Jews

11. Fundamentalist Klansmen

12. Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints

13. Fundamentalist Moonies

14. Fundamentalist Naturalists

15. Fundamentalist Oprah Winfrerians

16. Fundamentalist Pantheists

17. Fundamentalist Quakers

18. Fundamentalist Russian Orthodoxologists

19. Fundamentalist Shakers

20. Fundamentalist Taoists

21. Fundamentalist Unitarian Universalists

22. Fundamentalist Victorians

23. Fundamentalist Well Wishers

24. Fundamentalist Xenophobes

25. Fundamentalist Yes Men

26. Fundamentalist Zoroastrians

And if your fundamentalist sect is not represented here, such as the Abecedarians, please let us know and we’ll add you to our kill list.

Thanks.