KWB (KILLING WHILE BLACK)

An African American inmate on Texas’ death row has sent in the following email:

“Dear Mr. Hardin,

“I know this site’s not about innocence, but I’ve exhausted all my options and my date with death is appoachin’ fast. Now, a lot of us brothers on death row are innocent. Really. But Texas law does not permit juries to find defendants innocent. It’s either ‘Guilty,’ ‘Guilty as Sin,’ ‘Guilty and Black,’ ‘Guilty and Mexican,’ or 'So Damn Guilty Can't We Just Execute Him Right Now?'

“It turns out I wasn’t even born yet when I supposedly killed some white lady—maybe if my public defender hadn’t been disbarred and drunk when he represented me, he’d have figgered that out.

“Is there anything you can do to help me and the other innocent black men on death row?

“C. R. (These are not my real initials, they’d kill me if they knew I was writing this)”

MH: Dear C.R.,

Unfortunately, in Texas, the appeals process is designed to make sure the rich, not the innocent, are not troubled with incarceration or infamy—remember the CEO of Enron, Kenneth Lay? Because he died during the appeal process, his record was wiped clean and so his family got to keep his ill-gotten gains. Had he been black . . . well, you can answer this better than I.

The best I can do, C.R., is post your question and use it as a model for other black men in America.  However, it does give me an idea how black men can take advantage of this gross injustice.

With deepest regrets,

Michael Hardin


DRIVING WHILE BLACK

Every black male (except maybe Clarence Thomas) knows what DWB is. You’re minding your own business, driving through any part of a town that has at least one white person in it, and a cop pulls you over. The cop asks for your identification, tries to convince you that you are not the person shown on your driver’s license, asks you if you’re on crack, asks if he can search your car for drugs and weapons (this is phrased in the form of a question, but intonated in the form of a demand), cuffs you when he can’t find anything, returns to his cruiser to see if there are any reported crimes in the state that might have been committed by a black man, and then, if there are, he’ll take you in, and if there aren’t, he’ll tell you, “I know you did it—I’m watchin’ you.”

Since most white people are told at a very early age to blame African Americans for any crimes they commit (just ask Susan Smith from South Carolina how hard it was convincing the police and the country that it was a black man who kidnapped and killed her two sons), it is safe to assume that the cops are going to drag you in for something sooner or later, and if not, they’ll stick you in a lineup, in which case your chances of being arrested are 1/4 to 1/6. Given their inability to distinguish one African American from another, your innocence or guilt is irrelevant at this point. If you’re picked, you’re guilty; if you’re not, they’ll keep putting you in lineups for other crimes until someone picks you.

So, what can you do? Short answer: Nothing.

However, since they’re going to pull you over anyway, why not at least kill some white dude before you’re sent to jail? The brilliance of this plan is that white folks don’t think African Americans are smart enough to pull this off. They blame everything on Affirmative Action, so work the system.

1. Since you know they’re going to pull you over for nothing, give them something to pull you over for, something trivial though, like a broken headlight (that saves the cop having to break it for you). A broken tail light might also make it so the cop simply writes you a ticket and lets you go—a ticket allows the city to take the black man’s money and it allows the cop to prove to his department that he harassed a black man without having to bother with dragging him in.

2. Make sure though, that you do not have any weapons or drugs in your car. Blood is okay, ‘cause you can say you were in a fight with your BLACK girlfriend (if you say white, they’ll investigate it as rape or battery or both and your story will fall apart).

3. Drive through a white neighborhood, but not near where you made your kill.

4. When the cop pulls you over (it shouldn’t take more than about two minutes for cops in white neighborhoods to find you), answer everything with “Yes Sir” or “No Sir.”

5. a. The cop will either assume that you’re innocent, but know that the white folks in the neighborhood will think he’s not doing his duty if he does not take you in

b. Or, the cop will assume you’re guilty of something, but he won’t know what, so he’ll take you in.

6. Once at the station, they’ll ask you why you were there and other directionless questions, hoping that during the three to five hours that they interrogate you you’ll confess to something.

7. If you can avoid saying something incriminating or infuriating, they’ll figure you just might be innocent, and so they’ll use you as African American male #4 in the lineups for that evening.

8. a. If no one picks you, you’re good to go.

b. If they pick you, you’ll end up getting arrested for robbing a 7-11 or selling drugs or refusing to sing minstrel songs for rich white folks--any of which will provide you excellent alibi for the murder and you’ll get out of the joint a whole lot sooner.

Just imagine the possibilities.

NOTE: This can also be modified as KILLING WHILE BROWN. However, I have not been able to modify this to work as KILLING WHILE ASIAN.