PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: DON’T LET 8 YR OLDS SHOOT UZIS!!!!

Now, even the morons and imbeciles among you probably know not to let kids play with guns. But to my amazement, as I was reading the newspaper, I came across this story (see link below) about a gun show organizer (an ex-police chief no less) in Massachusetts who let kids of all ages fire Uzis—this was in Massachusetts, not Texas or Israel (of course, in Texas and Israel, 8 yr olds probably know how to fire Uzis well enough so as not to get hurt). And surprise, surprise, an 8 year old killed himself while firing an Uzi. DUH!

http://www.masslive.com/news/index.ssf/2010/08/ex-pelham_police_chief_edward.html

I think I need to create a new lowest IQ level for my The Perfect Murder Series: The Perfect Murder: For NRA (Never Reads Anything or Never Read Amendment 2).

For those of you gun-totin’ NRA members who think toddlers should be able to shoot Uzis, fire Stinger missiles, lob grenades or drive tanks, have you ever even bothered to read the Second Amendment--you're going to ruin the right for us murderers who only ask for a single handgun or rifle. Let me provide the full text for you (if you need a friend to read it to you, don’t be embarrassed to ask):

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Okay, I’ll break it down for you.

The first phrase—“A well regulated Militia” implies two things, that the “arms” are part of a REGULATED participation in a Militia--something akin to the National Guard (not one of those wacko groups out to overthrow the government), a group to protect the US from OUTSIDE forces.

The second phrase—“being necessary to the security of a free State” explains why the people should be permitted to keep and bear arms—for the security of a free State (this means country, not Texas, you idiots).

Okay, this is why the people are permitted arms—and it doesn’t say ANY arms. I don’t think Madison really thought we needed Uzis.

Now that I’ve read to you your most sacred text, don’t let your kids play with Uzis.



Back to the rest of my readership: Murdering is a sacred responsibility that we should not take lightly. We need to understand that the same weapons that so beautifully fit in our hands can be disastrous in the hands of our children. Make sure that your weapons are in a secure place, and as cute as it might be, don’t make a mobile for your boy’s crib out of handguns.

Remember: GUNS DON’T KILL, STUPID N.R.A. PARENTS DO.